‘Tea?’ I asked the room, after my customary standing-up groan. I got a few nods from a few people, so shuffled to the communal kitchen.
The microwave had been left slightly open, with time still on the clock – Teddy had just been here, I thought to myself with a frown. I scanned the games room, and there he was; shuffling over to a game of mahjong, slightly-warmed muffin in hand. I silently glared at him as I shut the microwave door.
‘You always let him get to you, you know that?’
I turned around and saw Bessie standing behind me, holding a mug in one hand and her infamous cane in the other. She chuckled to herself and motioned that she was heading for the tea as well.
‘Please,’ I said, gesturing for her to go first. ‘And I do not. I just don’t like that he’s always so… inconsiderate.’
‘We could get rid of him, you know,’ she said as she flicked the kettle on. ‘He doesn’t have to stay in this fancy retirement home with all of us classy people.’
‘Go on,’ I said with a slight grin, enjoying her mischievous game.
‘Way I see it, we just need to get him sent to some sort specialist disability accommodation. The best SDA housing around the Adelaide area, of course,’ she said quickly. ‘Wouldn’t want to keep him from his family.’
‘Of course not,’ I shook my head, grin spreading. ‘So what would that plan entail?’
‘Oh, you know,’ she said. ‘Putting weights in his shoes so he can’t walk as easily. Mild anaesthetic in his toothpaste. Just some light tampering with his pills.’
‘You’re just coming up with this now?’
‘Sure am,’ she nodded. ‘We’d obviously need help – do you know any highly qualified community nursing staff who are able to help?’
‘No,’ I frowned. ‘I don’t think any of them would be happy to help.’
‘Ah, well,’ she sighed, as the kettle began to rumble. ‘It’s a fun thought at least.’
I nodded in sync with her.
‘Oh well,’ I sighed, reaching over to hit the CLEAR button on the microwave.